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freedom of expression
December 2008 
In a Major Way, Some Private Thoughts on Soldiering
Posted on Oct 11th, 2006
by 
jeepdog
jeepdog
A wonderful discussion between Hapiness and I ensued after comments posted on the poem/thread Report from the War Zone At Home. Hapiness encouraged me to post some of the discourse for others - "I think that what you have written to me is very, important, and much more important than my poem, so if you ever feel inspired to post your notes to me, I think that would be a blessing for a lot of people. But I will understand if you just feel better keeping them private. Still, yours is a rare and significant voice, and I heartily support your sharing these thoughts."
Perhaps some of the thoughts are worthy of posting, so here they are provided below. My apologies for only half of the exchange included -
Thank you for the wonderful invitation. It is humbly and appreciatively accepted.
It is my opinion that you write beautifully and eloquently, regardless of form. Your post “Report From the War Zone at Home” was thought provoking and enlightening. It is not your problem as a author as to how I as a reader may internalize your writing. Indeed, most readers in this forum would slap you on the back, pass love your way, and strongly nod their heads in agreement with all of your points.
Yet, as you point out, where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
So, I stepped back and elected not to reply until I got past the negative internalization. I had to push away silly and threatened ego. With it pushed aside, it was with understanding that I finally replied. I believe in honesty, and that if we attempt to hide our thoughts from one another, we do a great disservice to the Kosmos.
We here can win at our level. We cannot, however, win this at the political level. You do not want us to win it at that level, since it is important for a free society to have guardians of liberty that allow us all to post (speak) freely, to be obedient to public will - to conform to a “higher societal cause” and calling. That is the hard part - that I can detest the war, yet still profesionally fulfill my duty. That requires more sacrifice than a “normal” citizen could ever fathom. Yet, those like me are judged - judged to be of a “such and such mindset,” or perhaps “misguided souls marching blindly to commit evil deeds.” Those more consciously evolved have the strength to discern such judgements and understand not to take it personally - yet there are many (majority) that would take it personally, since they have sacrficed so much, and hence could be driven to the dark corners of our souls due to misunderstanding.
As such, we must tread carefully, to avoid exacerbating problems. There are many who have walked through hell of oppression and radical thinking, and come out more compassionate, understanding, and even gracefully more human. They find strength and peace through inner peace and understanding, and have higher consciousness with which to handle the pain, and do not have to resort to the bottle.
My mother, moonstar (on zaadz), suggests that an integral thinker can be a new type of leader in my profession. I may be one of the very first integral-thinking soldiers (I would hope there are others, though!). I endeavor promote new thinking to blossom - for I assure you, fundamentalist religions will gladly kill and eradicate such thoughts and philosophy, and all the love will not turn them, for they respect NOT love - by protecting the inner sanctums for such free thinking from interference, and also set the example through my life and philosophy for those still wondering in the dark, hovering about the light.
I promise to get back to my regularly scheduled posting of poems in a day or so.
Perhaps some of the thoughts are worthy of posting, so here they are provided below. My apologies for only half of the exchange included -
Thank you for the wonderful invitation. It is humbly and appreciatively accepted.
It is my opinion that you write beautifully and eloquently, regardless of form. Your post “Report From the War Zone at Home” was thought provoking and enlightening. It is not your problem as a author as to how I as a reader may internalize your writing. Indeed, most readers in this forum would slap you on the back, pass love your way, and strongly nod their heads in agreement with all of your points.
Yet, as you point out, where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
So, I stepped back and elected not to reply until I got past the negative internalization. I had to push away silly and threatened ego. With it pushed aside, it was with understanding that I finally replied. I believe in honesty, and that if we attempt to hide our thoughts from one another, we do a great disservice to the Kosmos.
We here can win at our level. We cannot, however, win this at the political level. You do not want us to win it at that level, since it is important for a free society to have guardians of liberty that allow us all to post (speak) freely, to be obedient to public will - to conform to a “higher societal cause” and calling. That is the hard part - that I can detest the war, yet still profesionally fulfill my duty. That requires more sacrifice than a “normal” citizen could ever fathom. Yet, those like me are judged - judged to be of a “such and such mindset,” or perhaps “misguided souls marching blindly to commit evil deeds.” Those more consciously evolved have the strength to discern such judgements and understand not to take it personally - yet there are many (majority) that would take it personally, since they have sacrficed so much, and hence could be driven to the dark corners of our souls due to misunderstanding.
As such, we must tread carefully, to avoid exacerbating problems. There are many who have walked through hell of oppression and radical thinking, and come out more compassionate, understanding, and even gracefully more human. They find strength and peace through inner peace and understanding, and have higher consciousness with which to handle the pain, and do not have to resort to the bottle.
My mother, moonstar (on zaadz), suggests that an integral thinker can be a new type of leader in my profession. I may be one of the very first integral-thinking soldiers (I would hope there are others, though!). I endeavor promote new thinking to blossom - for I assure you, fundamentalist religions will gladly kill and eradicate such thoughts and philosophy, and all the love will not turn them, for they respect NOT love - by protecting the inner sanctums for such free thinking from interference, and also set the example through my life and philosophy for those still wondering in the dark, hovering about the light.
I promise to get back to my regularly scheduled posting of poems in a day or so.
Access: Public
Although “Integral thinkers” appear to have started with Ken Wilber, there have long been alternative thinkers, even pacifists, in the military. (I knew a C.O. who was a medic in the 82nd.) I think the issue is that there is an environment now that is more tolerant of them.
Back then, it was sort of a strange version of 'don't ask, don't tell.' As a lifelong Buddhist and a career soldier, I was aware that there was limited tolerance for my faith while in uniform. In all my years in service, while I saw civilian contract chaplains, I only met one commissioned Buddhist Chaplain.
Still, from what I hear from my friends still in uniform, it's an environment that is slow to change. The day of the 'Cold War' mentality that characterized my career is long past. That type of thinking will not prevail in the challenges you will face.
Jeepdog, you are part of that change that will make the service stronger, more flexible, more agile and able to adapt to the wide and protean variety of missions that will confront you in the future.
Buddha Bless the USA and all those who protect her.
Jeepdog - thanks so much for sharing. I acknowledge your courage and your authentic journey of connecting to your higher self in a way that lifts all of those around you. You are definitely a gift for every person who touches your path.
I am blessed by all of those whose paths I touch. We are all blessed by our crossing paths. We are all blessed on our collective, same path.
I thank all of your for your gifts.
“Hell is other people” said Satre.
Great!
That means, inversely, “Heaven is other people.”
Thank you for sharing this with us. I so admire your honesty and bravery. I can only imagine the duality that you must face and try to come to terms with on a daily basis. I think we all know that wars are insane - and yet, it isn't something that can be changed overnight with some loving thoughts. With time, with great change in the world that we inhabit … but that still leaves today and your sacrifice is appreciated by so many!
Much Love, Ayla