While high gas prices certainly put the pressure on low-income people, to which I am sympathetic, I am overjoyed about high gas prices.
You read that correctly. Obsolutely OVERJOYED.
You see, these prices are changing our behaviors. Quite frankly, behaviors that should have changed long ago. This is not a blog by a foaming-at-the-mouth environmentalist. If it more attention-getting for you, then know that I am sold on personal Liberties and believe in natural market corrections (capitalism) and a good faith that people take responsibilities for themselves and their communities that does not require federal legislation.
I am, however, in love with nature, and what I am seeing in the world pisses me off.
To hell with "global warming." We should call it something else. "Global warming" gets both the tree hugging granola munchers and the war-hawk industrialists all up on arms and battling their opposite counterparts.
Perhaps we could call it "living in our own crap, and it is expensive." I doubt there's any politically correct mumbo-jumbo that could be applied to that term. The only problem that I can discern with this terminology is that it really does not capture the fact that we are dragging the rest of living things into our (humanity's) sewer.
Yet, does it really matter?
I care about those living things, certainly, but I also care about me. As most of us do. I have flown very many "VIPs" in my lifetime, to which I am not enamored, and probably never shall be. Perhaps that is why they like flying with me. At any rate, once a pack of them got aboard, and as I was giving them a safety briefing, one of them said "fly safely, since you have some important passengers on this flight." To this I merely replied "well, sir, that is quite fine, but let me assure you that I have no intentions of anything going wrong on this flight," to this they all looked relieved, "since there's no ass on this aircraft more important than mine. I have every intention of having dinner tonight," which caused most of them to smile and nod in understanding, perhaps even agreement.
Is this not human nature? The whole survival gig?
So, let's review how our lifestyle on this planet causes us to live in our own crap, this unsanitary condition can cause health problems, and could be amazingly expensive.
First, the oceans are turning into a huge soda pop. Alright, more technically, carbonic acid is on the rise, which is the stuff that makes soda pop, well, be in a gloriously fizzy state. This is because the oceans are a great carbon dioxide sink, which means those salty waters absorb all of the industrial CO2 we are pumping into the atmosphere. One would think - thank GOD, since the CO2 is going into the oceans as opposed to causing more of this "global warming" problem.
Well, no. This is bad. Really bad. I know this from my landlubber experience.
What?
Yes, let us return to land, please, where I know a thing or two about rocks, due to extensive knowledge gained through study of geology. Once upon a time, I found myself teaching an Environmental Geology course at a community college. The less-than-brilliant students could not tell the difference between Marble (metamorphic) and Granite (igneous intrusive), so one day on a field trip I gave them a great clue. I started with limestone, and explained how the sample I was showing them was composed of calcium carbonate fossils (shell-based sea critters). I explained how calcium carbonate has a very low pH (that's the stuff in antacid - check it out - a derivative of the word "anti-acid", which neutralizes the acid in our tummies), which means it is the mortal enemy of acid, and vice versa. Unfortunately, though, by combating acid, calcium carbonate usually looses by being dissolved.
Alright, stay with me. This gets good, and gets back to the oceans.
So, I found some liquid with a good bit of carbonic acid in it - a can (aluminum, not plastic - see later in this blog!) of Dr Pepper Soda. I poured it on a sample of limestone, and the students gasped. The reaction between the acidic soda and the limestone was quite impressive, with popping, sizzling, bubbling, and other theatrics. The students clapped. Then, I took some water, cleaned the mess off, and showed the gouge left by the soda. The acid corroded the calcium carbonate.
Yes, yes, we are on to marble. My point about limestone and acid is made, and this is an extension side story, so feel free to skip this paragraph, unless you have marble countertops, in which case you may want to keep reading. Marble forms when sedimentary limestone is heated and squeezed by great Mom Earth's natural processes, causing the limestone grains to re-crystallize and lock more closely together. So, marble is still more or less sea critters' exoskeletons comprised of calcium carbonate. Granite is igneous intrusive rock that is course grained and made of quartz, feldspar, and silica type of materials.
Yeah, that's a mouthful - how about the fact it is relatively resistant to acid? So, I poured Dr Pepper on the granite, and nada. Zilch. No reaction. The students were sad. Then, on to a piece of marble - fizz, pop, sizzle, bubble, and - ta da! A gouge in the marble, since the carbonic acid reacted with the calcium carbonate in the marble. The students clapped and cheered to the destruction of the rock, and they finally could tell the difference between marble and granite. As a side note, I offered the rest of the Dr Pepper to them, and all declined the offer. Something about the acid demonstration got their brain gears turning.
Alright, what about the oceans?
Well, I know that the pH balance of the ocean in the last 200 years or so (which just happens to be the period of industrialization) has dropped from 8.2 to 8.1. What's the big deal? Well, any pH below 7 is considered acidic, while above 7 is neutral. So, that .1 decrease equates to the oceans becoming more acidic, and since this little acidic version of a richter scale happens to be exponential, this equates to a 30 percent increase in the acidity! That got me thinking about all of those sea critters that are living now with a potential to become calcium carbonate rock millions of years from now. Pondering the fact that coral reefs, clams, oysters, lobsters, crabs, and even the little guys such as phytoplankton and zooplankton all have an exoskeleton comprised of comprised of calcium carbonate, a chill began running up the spine of my own skeleton.
Remember the Dr Pepper?
Well, I certainly did, and I began to realize that a more acidic environment would be corrosive to all of these sea critters. With visions of poor clams and crabs literally dissolving in this huge Dr Pepper bath, I then began reflecting on those little plankton chaps dissolving, too. Ah, big deal say the proponents of the "go ahead and let the ocean eat CO2, since it is better there than the atmosphere that will continue to do this global greenhouse thing, besides, the plankton will be replaced by carbon dioxide-chomping bacteria, and corals will be replaced by carbon-capturing seaweed."
Yet, another neuron in my pea brain fires with a memory of cetacians, and that the bigger cetacians eat these plankton and usually get the calcium carbonate shells stuck in their krill. Indeed, these bigger cetacians are commonly known as whales. I wonder if anyone has done a survey on how these whales will survive on a diet of bacteria? Extrapolating this big feast fest, I contemplate the corals, and further remember Little Nemo, and the life around a coral. In nature, little critters get eaten by bigger creatures that get eating by biggest creatures, which would be a domino effect on fisheries, too.
With Dr Pepper oceans, we could see a complete collapse in fisheries.
That would cause crazy price spikes in food (not just seafood, for remove the protein of seafood, and the resulting demand in other proteins will rise). Even if you do not like seafood, or meat, your tofu will be more expensive. So pay heed, you meat-eating Texans, for your one pound steak will set you back more than that monster Ford truck you drive. If none of this bothers you, then perhaps knowing Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch" simply will not exist in the future. There, now are you mad? If you don't believe any of this Dr Pepper ocean theory, take a peek at: http://www.livescience.com/environment/050630_oceans_acid.html .
So, while we are contemplating what our own industrial excrement potentially can do to the price of food, perhaps we should consider some of the other crap with which we surround ourselves. As I think about the acid ocean problem, I encounter in this month's Discover Magazine an article about a plastic garbage floating thing the size of TEXAS (!), called an Alguita located between Hawaii and California. This thing, other than just being plain embarrassing to show off to the rest of the Kosmos, is leaching plastic chemicals into the ocean and also killing off critters in this dominoes of doom game we seem to be playing. Check out: http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Ocean/Moore-Trashed-PacificNov03.htm/ .
Ah, if you don't care about the food chain, once again, then perhaps you should care if you are a dude about your nuts shriveling or perhaps about growing some nice boobs.
No, I am not kidding. Plastic's bisphenol A and phthalates disrupt the way some hormones function in our bodies, which in turn poses risk to the developing fetus and young children. The short end of the stick is the anogentital distance decreases with an increased exposure of those fancy-named plastic disruptors. Oh, if I lost you with "anogenital distance," be informed that is a fancy term for the distance between the butthole and the penis on boys, which is typically twice as long in males as it is in females (gee, aren't you glad you know that?). So, a shorter distance equates to an obvious marker of feminization of males.
Now you know why some of the "modern" men are sensitive and compassionate, but do the math if we loose males altogether. Even if you are a die-hard feminist and do not particularly mind the plight of the male half of your species, then consider that these same plastic chemicals cause breast abnormalities that last a lifetime. Want to know more about this freaky plastic chemical stuff? Then check out - http://discovermagazine.com/2008/may/18-the-dirty-truth-about-plastic/ .
The link to gas prices? Plastic is made from - petroleum. With any luck, the increasing prices of plastic will force us into alternate packaging and conserve on the use where possible.
It is already apparent the high price of gasoline is causing some folks to change their perspective on driving inefficiently and unnecessarily large vehicles. With the observations outlined above, I already ditched the bigger Jeeps that I favor for the smallest of the line, finely tuned with some modifications that allow 30+ MPG and still has 4X4 capability for the exploration of the earth and adventure that I so love. In addition, I pedal a bike to and from work. Just doing my part in small ways to make a difference.
Yet, so many others were not, but now, thank goodness for high gas prices, some are forced into making a difference, and others see the utility of preserving their precious profits by downsizing their vehicles.
So, HOORAY! for these higher gas prices. They just may save the plankton's skeletons, prevent the Albatross from having a belly full of plastic, and keep a healthy distance between males' butthole and penis.
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December 2008 
jeepdog
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