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December 2008 
Exhaustion Awake Sleeping Enlightenment
jeepdog
So it began,
this ending of consciousness,
an awakened reality,
opened in the closing mind,
brought out by seventy-two hours,
Of no sleeping.
No rest,
the toxins build,
and raze the body,
erecting the soul,
releasing the spirit,
out of mind,
out of body,
Into natural hallucination.
So tired,
complete exhaustion,
that sleep will not fall,
as body temperature rises,
a feverish unnatural state,
a completely natural cooling,
the internal poisons of within,
Causal of irrational thoughts without.
Dull retina errodes,
while light explodes,
with internal color implodes,
brain comprehends,
yet mind is blind,
eyes not seeing,
the freakish light,
Alternate blessed dimension.
The buzzing in the ears,
a soundless musical distraction,
a noisy cacophony,
of a voice translated,
into utter Babel,
yet making sense,
in an altered state,
Funneled voice of God.
As I arrive at the Place,
there go my arms,
there go my legs,
left behind,
as they carry me forward,
detached from there,
as my mind arrives here,
Where the hell is my body?
Hypersensitive senses,
detecting nothing actual,
neural firing,
reacting to over-stimulus,
of nothing there,
or perhaps of everything,
ingredients of soul awakened,
Biological body deactivating.
So there it is the madness,
a forced backtracking,
into the hell of now,
as they force ambien,
down the throat that is not,
imprisoned sleep to the insanity,
so close was the glimpse,
Beautiful gifts of Heaven.
So it began,
this ending of consciousness,
an awakened reality,
opened in the closing mind,
brought out by seventy-two hours,
Of no sleeping.
.
Access: Public
singing lullaby to Kit… sleep, sleep…
I like this poem! What is Nicole telling you to sleep for? (smiling towards Nicole!) I just read this three times. I want to ask….so what was it like the next morning? Did you feel any differently? Did it feel like a sleep-deprived hallucination or like you actually discovered something deeper? Anyway, that's the questions sparked by this poem. Thank you for sharing, Kathy
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. Even more thanks for such an insightful question!
The numerous times in my life where I've experienced this - and finally get a chance to rest - the result is the same each time (even after periods of chronic exhaustion).
I indeed felt as if I discovered something deeper - a different state of realization.
Physically, however, completely out of it. Ironically, even more tired than during the extended sleep-deprived period. For me, the theories of “only needing one good night's sleep to recover” has never proven true, for it takes several days to re-adjust. Usually, the next morning and day, I am horribly lethargic and have trouble thinking.
.
I can really resonate with this one… I think most of my poetry resides on the edge of sleep and wakefulness anyhow (not the 72hours awake kind… just the… wake-at-3-oclock-can't-sleep kind)
When I was in college (eons ago:-) I did a few times have multiple days of hardly any sleep… and was fascinated by the effects… the changing consciousness…
and with some time and wisdom with me now… it is even more interesting…
As a poem… ohhh I can feel this one!
(nicely done!)
Catherine -
Thank you. This passing the “feeling” brings much joy to me.
I did not really like this one all that much when it first arrived, yet it is growing on me, and taking on meaning, and gaining life from the energy you and Centria are breathing into it.
Ironically, it is awakening into my soul.
I am glad it is awakening into your soul. :)
I am really terrible with sleepless nights and can't glean too much out of them, so that's why your poem was so inspiring! Maybe if I ever have a sleepless night again, I'll come over to your blog and re-read this and feel a little better.